Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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