I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
