I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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