This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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