apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
