I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I love you. Go after that dick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize