thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
