You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
