You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize