As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize