You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
