I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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