I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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