He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
