puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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