She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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