Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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