I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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