"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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