Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
