birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
