Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
