Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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