I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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