just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
