Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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