pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
