I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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