I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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