i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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