Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize