Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
