i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize