she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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