rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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