Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
