Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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