i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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