You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
