I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize