I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They have beer where we have blood.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
