are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize