Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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