She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
