She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
