He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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