I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize