it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there was a trapeze. enough said
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
