I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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