He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
that is very illegal...i love you.
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