My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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