Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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