he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
