Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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