You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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