I love watching others lives come down to our level.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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