is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
